Fear: The Guardian

Deep Breath!

While this topic is of great importance, it is a hard one to acknowledge. Especially when you are a person who believes in Jesus Christ and you know him to be an impossible God. But I am convinced that there is an understanding in this love thing as it relates to fear. The evidence of my thoughts revolves around the scripture written in Matthew 26:39 when Jesus himself asks God, The Father "If it be possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will".

This indicated to me that Jesus momentarily considered the true nature of a man's heart. He knew that for years to come men would continue to deny his love, even after he gave his life, or as we would put it, everything for us. If you didn't understand the impact of this blog before, I am most certain that by now, you have a clear understanding. The fact of the matter is that love, the idea of true love, is scary. There's a high level of vulnerability present that instantly makes you realize that there is a real possibility of you being intimately loved by someone. The peculiar thing about it is that it seems to only be present when we approach a new relationship. This fear has always been present. But most of the time we have the willpower to go against the consciousness of it for the lust of excitement that exists in every new thing.

But at what point do we begin to pay attention to it? I will tell you a secret. I was not prepared to witness the pain that I caused others to feel by utilizing this fear of caution. This fear is a guardian that I am aware of and as long as I continue to live on earth, WILL NOT be capable of guarding my heart forever. I know exactly what you are thinking right now. " What a cowardly move"! Trust me, I felt the same way. It was in this instance that God opened my eyes to notice that 90% of relationships revolve around the fact that we as human beings look at each other and admire others for what we believe that they can do for us versus what we can do to enhance the life of someone else.

You had better take a break with me now and sip some coffee and/or tea. It's only going to get heavier from here.

We often hear that a relationship where two people are unequally yoked can't work. That was the realest statement ever written in the bible concerning relationships, if you ask me. However, we have failed to understand the true meaning of being equally yoked. It's not enough that two people know and love God. We equated the phrase "unequally yoked" to a relationship where one person is saved and the other isn't. Newsflash people! Just because a person attends church services regularly does not make them a Christian. And just because a person skips church more often than not, does not mean that they are the devil's advocate. Unequally yoked speaks to the notion that 2 people start at different levels in life or with different ambitions that don't align in a way that will provide repeated nourishment in the relationship between them and in ministry. We keep trying to choose our mates based on attraction. You need to brace yourself to receive what I am about to tell you. Marriage is intended to supply you and the kingdom ministry with what is needed, to prevent distractions while pursuing the will of God.

Go ahead and ask the question that you are thinking right now out loud. Don't worry! I will ask it for you. In times past, I have heard people say that marriage is not biblical and that it is for the individual. And when I disputed, the question was asked something along the lines of this; How do you think two crackheads can stay married for 10-plus years then? My answer was then and will always be because they are progressing at the same speed. They are on the same page. They are chasing after the same high. And THEY are comfortable where they are. Contrary to what we onlookers want to believe, they too have a God that they reverence, and that is the drug. Because anything that you are addicted to, you must have it every day of your life, you can't sleep without it and you wake up to it, is your God. You had better be careful choosing your lust.

I can remember reading what the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9 (MSG)

"7 Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

8-9 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single".

....And I had to give you this one in the message bible format to remove the complexity in your understanding of the text, as it puzzled me many days when I read it. I thought it was one of the most heartless things I have read. Especially knowing that it was God who said that "man SHOULD NOT be alone". However, the closer I walked with God, the more I began to understand that certain things should not happen in my life. How can one walk together unless they agree (Amos 3:3)? Not only is this relevant to marriage but it is also relevant to the fact that you, as a foundational man and woman of God should agree with God. Therefore, divorces should not be. Being financially unstable, should not be our portion. Having kids outside of wedlock is not characteristic of the God that we serve. While God has a way of turning things around so that we may come out looking as if we were always on the winning side and continue to give his name glory, the bitter truth is that we should be more conscious about what we do. Believe it or not, people are watching. The devil is waiting to devour you and anything that is in you that resembles God.

I now understand, why it is so important to be 100% equally yoked. Your ministry depends on it.

(Do yourself a favor and read the entire 7th chapter of 1st Corinthians in the MSG format. You should also consider the DARBY translation for study habits.)

The best thing that ever happened to me was having my heart broken by God concerning marriage. Coincidentally, he did not keep it from me. Rather he gave it to me to get the desire for it, out of my system so that I could do ministry the right way. God gave me marriage so that it would not remain a distraction to me but it became a distraction to me. (Laughing so hard right now). This God that we serve is perfect in ALL of his ways. Let me help you to understand what I mean by this statement.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says this:

"To everything, there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:"

There are seasons in a person's life when God needs him or her to focus. He needs us to have clarity. He needs us to intercede more. He needs us to speak to an area of someone's life, an issue of someone's heart, oh wow! The list goes on. Many of the things that we experience are not solely for us. Smh! God is so corporate. So while you may be in a situation, dealing with the rejection, the pain, and all manner of what feels like darts thrown from the enemy, this particular situation may be partially for your learning. Maybe God wants to bless someone else through you but at the same time, he is teaching you how to have stamina. Maybe God is training your eyes to see deeper, into dimensions that will save an entire generation.

And for the one that I just heard in the spirit ask the question, " But wouldn't I know that"? The answer is, no, not always and not always at that moment.

I really gotta be transparent in this moment and tell you my story to help you better understand. Before marriage I had written a book that I had not yet produced. It's available to you on this website and Amazon (Biblical Principles of Dating). The book, so I thought, was completely written. All I needed to do was transfer it to my doc file and publish it. It wasn't until I went through a terrible situation in the marriage, that made realized that this was an important issue and that it was a chapter that had to be in the book. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced in a relationship and God made me live through it without being able to defend myself. It wasn't until after I had decided to leave the marriage that jeopardized my ministry, money, and character that God gave to me, that I understood.

I can honestly say, that this deceptive and painful marriage was by far the best thing that ever happened to me. I had never known 2 things before it. I had never known hate (and God would not allow me to harbor that, but I came very close. Close enough to understand how someone could hate another.) and I never knew fear. I'm fully persuaded that there is a level of fear (truthfully it's anxiety because it doesn't stop you from progressing) that is healthy. It is necessary! And it is, without any doubt, a guardian to me.

My biggest fear is to be left alone by God. I can remember being in the moment of coming to the realization that this marriage wasn't going to work. I paced the floor that day thinking that it was not possible that God had lied to me. I could have chosen to be angry with God. I had asked the questions in previous situations that didn't work out like, why didn't you just leave me alone? I was okay with being single. Why did you allow this disruption? But the enemy's voice in my ear was much louder. It kept mocking the God in me that I loved. It kept saying to me that I would die right there in the pain. That I was too old to start over.

Sipping my coffee

Well if you know me, you know that that devil had just planned his funeral by dictating to me who he thought he had the right to tell me to be. I told him to his face, and all his little cohorts, that I would do and be all that God had said and there was no way that any devil would stop me. Really though, I was blazing hot with anger. The indication of that was my exceptionally calm demeanor and the fact that I had started speaking in Spanish, calling him diablo. LOL! Isn't it hilarious how we get so focused when we are upset? LOL!

................. And it was at that moment that that foolish devil realized that he had died a treacherous death right there in the presence of God on the inside of me. He predicted that I would respond one way but I chose to resemble my Father. Just like he thought I would never open my mouth to say I feared anything. But I boldly say this, I fear losing God's ministry by catering to the desire and need to be loved by the wrong person.

So I say this to you amazing people of God:

"Be grateful for the fact that God knows exactly what we need. The bigger the call/assignment, the greater the blessing. Wait for the one who can and will cover you. That's the one sent by God. If anything about the kingdom of God is at stake, they are not THE one. Embrace the fear of losing God and the shame of misrepresenting the visibility of His grace in your life. It's so necessary.