Are boundaries a form of neglect in a relationship?

Are boundaries a form of neglect, camouflaged by a busy schedule? Is one person in the relationship too busy? Or is one partner not busy enough? When one person cannot find balance in his or her life to focus on a relationship, many people would certainly consider that neglect. Alternatively, that could mean the other person is not investing enough time in themselves.

A significant amount of people complain that they don't get enough quality time with their significant other. Usually, it's the male in the relationship who is most concerned about financial stability to keep a woman while losing her to work slowly but surely, or the male is overindulging in work running from the responsibility of having to engage in the relationship. Women on the other hand are usually adjusting their schedule to be available for the man who once he feels secure in the relationship, almost completely throws dating out of the window. The worst part of all of this is that people so quickly get caught up in the cycle of this toxicity for years.

What is the real problem here? Let's examine this question in totality.

• Someone is waiting!

• Someone is running!

• What's the indication of whether or not you should stay or go?

• Are you on the same page?

• Has anyone abandoned their goals?

The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17 that when you find a friend, do not wear out your welcome, as the person will soon get fed up. This seems to be more specific to my ladies as we are way too accountable and available in dating relationships. STOP NOW! After this post, you should not be so readily available to free your schedule when you know that your guy will be off of work at a certain time. Just because a person is off work does not mean that they are available. One thing I've noticed about men is that they need their time to wind down after a long day. And believe it or not, so do you. If you don't believe me, I'll prove it to you by asking this one simple question. After a long day of work, how hard is it to transition into your next duty of cooking, taking care of the kids, or attending to anything or anyone else? other than yourself? Hmmmm! Whether you do it or not, for most of us, it takes a second wind. And God forbid the man wants attention thereafter (this should not be your complaint, single ladies).

Sooooo, to make a long story short, don't wait around for anyone. You have things to accomplish in your own life. If you are attached to anyone who gets angry that you are not available to them when they want you to be, note that this is a red flag and you might need to reconsider this person.

Now, when boundaries are extended to the degree that you aren't hearing from the person they are in a relationship with at least once within a 24-hour time frame (especially for those who have moved into courtship) you should reconsider the relationship. Notice I did not say that you have to see this person daily. In my opinion, if you are in a dating relationship, hanging out once a week is sufficient, and twice a week for courtship. You need to stick to your goals and continue to build yourself. This helps you to add value to yourself and to bring something to the table. Are you aware that if you are accomplished to a certain level it can motivate others to maintain a level sufficient to yours? This is a part of being equally yoked. Know when to move on from situations where you are not considered. It's important that we feel like a priority if we are ever going to grow to be THE priority. Remember that how you start a relationship is the trend you set for the remainder of it. While you are dating you have the option to choose who better suits your life. It' unfair for you and the person that you are in a relationship with for you to choose them knowing that you want or need more attention from them and then expect them to give more after marriage.

No one person should abandon their goals. Stay on track. If you pray every morning, whether that good morning text comes or not, continue to pray at the same time as you do daily. If you set time apart to visit family, continue. If you are building a career, taking a course in school, enhancing your business, whatever you are doing, continue. Set your schedule for at least 4 hours of free time a day. Don't allow yourself to be distracted and don't get in the habit of being a distraction to others. When you notice that you have become a destruction, be mature enough to create some distance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says that there is a time for everything and a season for everything under the sun. Balance your time, being sure not to give to much and be given to less.

How do you balance your dating/courtship relationship? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts. Let's discuss.

Let me know what you think. Drop a comment below.